TUGGER (spoken):
You ought to ask Mr. Mistoffelees!
The original conjuring cat--
(There can be no doubt about that!)
Please listen to me and don't scoff; All his
Inventions are off his own bat
There's no such cat in the metropolis
He holds all the patent monopolies
For performing surprising illusions
And creating eccentric confusions!

(sings)
The greatest magicians have something to learn
From Mister Mistoffelees' conjuring turn

MISTOFFELEES:
Presto!

CHORUS:
And we all say,
Oh! Well I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees

Oh! Well I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees

TUGGER:
He is quiet, he is small, he is black
From the ears to the tip of his tail
He can creep through the tiniest crack
He can walk on the narrowest rail
He can pick any card from a pack
He is equally cunning with dice
He is always deceiving you into believing
That he's only hunting for mice

He can play any trick with a cork
Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste
If you look for a knife or a fork
And you think it is merely misplaced
You have seen it one moment and then it's gone
But you find it next week lying on the lawn!

CHORUS:
And we all say,
Oh! Well I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees

Oh! Well I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees

Oh! Well I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees

Oh! Well I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees

TUGGER:
His manner is vague and aloof
You would think there was nobody shyer
But his voice has been heard on the roof
When he was curled up by the fire
And he's sometimes been heard by the fire
When he was about on the roof
At least we all heard that somebody purred
Which is uncontestable proof of his singular magical powers
And I've known the family to call him in from the garden for hours
When he was asleep in the hall

And not long ago this phenomenal cat
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat!

And we all say,
Oh! Well I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees

CHORUS:
Oh! Well I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees

(DANCE -- MISTOFFELEES)

TUGGER:
And not long ago this phenomenal cat
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat!

And we all say,
Oh! Well I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees

CHORUS:
Oh! Well I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees

Oh! Well I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees

Oh! Well I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees

Oh! Well I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees

Oh! Well I never! Was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees

TUGGER (spoken):
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the marvelous, magical Mr. Mistoffelees!
Prest